Gone To Texas...
Journeying to Health & Healing
The past three years have been challenging for all of us. No one escaped unscathed. To some degree, we have all lost.
Reflecting on these losses, at times, can be overwhelming. In a short period of two years, I had given up my home, my career, my financial security, and my marriage. Many will argue that I chose to willingly walk away from all of the above, and while that is true, it doesn’t lessen the burden. The weight is the same. Still, many have suffered losses far greater.
For those of you following along, you know that I had come out to Texas a couple of months back. I had traveled to Houston, San Antonio, Austin, and then finally ended up just outside of Galveston. It was here that I felt something I hadn’t felt in quite some time; it was here that I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. I stayed for a week, and for the first time in nearly a year, I was able to sleep through the night.
Many people don’t realize it, because I don’t often speak of it, but I am dealing with the unresolved trauma of nearly losing my life this past July. In fact, if not for the Lord’s intercession as I yelled out with what little breath I had left in my body, begging for Him to save me, I would not be here. I am convinced of that. I won’t hash out all of the details except to say that this was a tragedy, and one I had never in a million years seen coming. We never expect that someone who has loved us through so much, would ever or could ever bring harm to us. There was no pattern of abuse. No one could have foreseen what occurred. In this situation, I gave forgiveness. I gave grace that I never imagined I would be capable of. I’m grateful that I was able to do so. In the grand scheme of things, forgiveness was the easy part, forgetting would be the challenge. He faced legal consequences for his actions, and rightly so, however, if not for my grace, these would have been far worse. The dissolution of our marriage was an absolute certainty; there was never any question. If I’m being honest, the dissolution occurred long before the tragedy. In hindsight, holding on past that point is likely what contributed to it. Let me be clear, I don’t reveal any of these things to shame my ex-husband. I forgive him with my entire being, God forgives him. I just pray that one day, he will be able to forgive himself. He is worthy of that. He has been sober for 9 months now, I am proud of him. It is never too late to give your life over to God. His grace is sufficient. I ask that you will all extend your prayers to him as well; he needs them, now more so than ever.
I think it's so important that we tell our stories. Adversity is the writer of some of the most beautiful compositions. Never be afraid to share yours.💖
I tried to push past this incident as if nothing had happened. In my mind, I kept trying to downplay the severity of what took place. I threw myself into my work, full steam ahead. I was on a mission, after all. There was no time to deal with this. It almost seemed to work. My closest friends who knew all of the details, couldn’t believe how well I was handling it. Outwardly, I seemed largely unaffected. At night though, when I was alone in my house, that’s when it would hit me the hardest; when I couldn’t get the sounds of my own screams out of my head.
So, when I found myself settled into this beautiful home in Texas, for the first time in a long time, I felt comfortable. I felt safe. I had been traveling frequently; hotel after hotel, couch after couch, and I was finally able to just feel relaxed somewhere. I found solace in spending time by the ocean each day. I was rejuvenated. It was just what I needed.
I returned home to Tennessee after 3 weeks in the Lone Star State, and I have to tell you, I just wasn’t the same. I felt such a strong gravitational pull to this place. It’s difficult to explain.
I got back to business as usual. There are always a million things on my schedule it seems. We held another successful American Health & Freedom Summit in Nashville at the end of April, and I was able to spend time with this amazing group of nurses and my absolute favorite hero Doc!
If there is one thing I'm most proud of, it is bringing so many of these amazing nurses together.
Seeing the relationships they have built and watching the way they are inspired by, support, and love on one another has been the absolute greatest gift that has come from creating Nurse Freedom Network. I love these nurses fiercely, and I am so proud of their courage. It has been the highest honor of my life to stand with them in this fight.
Jodi O’Malley, my courageous sister nurse in Christ, spent a few days with me before heading back to Arizona. While she was here, we both decided, it was time to take back control of something we had been putting on the back burner for far too long; our own health. We made the commitment to being intentional, to make small changes and better choices every day. We made a pact to walk at least 30 minutes a day and not to eat after sundown. Simple, small changes. We were off to a great start!
These small changes were great, but I knew I was going to have to step up my game. I have become increasingly more concerned about my health over this past year. The stress, the uncertainty, it was all beginning to take its toll on me. I watched as my weight crept up 25 lbs since covid came on the scene. My entire body has been racked with inflammation after coming off of the Biologics I was taking for years to manage multiple autoimmune conditions. Call me crazy, but I just no longer feel all that comfortable injecting myself with pharmaceutical products! Some days, even getting out of bed can be challenging.
I wasn’t eating right, I wasn’t hydrating well, I wasn’t sleeping. I drank a minimum of 4-6 double shot espressos a day. How long did I think I could sustain an average resting heart rate in the 140’s?! Something had to give.
I made the decision to detox my body and implement the necessary changes to get myself on a path to improved health and healing. That’s when I knew what I needed to do. It just made sense for me to come back to a place where I had found so much peace. I thought this would give me the greatest chance for success.
So, I made the arrangements, and here I am, back in Texas. Focused on some long overdue self-care and continuing my journey towards health & healing.
I’m eating REAL food. I’ve always complained that I didn’t have time for meal prep and that I felt like it was a waste to cook a meal for myself. How absurd is that thinking?! I am absolutely worthy of a good, nutritious meal, and not only that, but I am worthy of the time it takes to prepare it. I think too often, we forget that.
I’m continuing to be intentional with my walking. Every morning, first thing, I am out for a walk…rain or shine! I follow that up with afternoon and evening walks, for a combined total of 3 miles a day, at minimum. It isn’t much, but it is a start!
I’ve replaced my morning double-shot espresso with Cardio Miracle!
And every single evening, without fail, I find myself back by the ocean filling my soul with much-needed peace and serenity.
To say that I feel like God is calling me here to this place, at this time, would be a huge understatement. I'm at such peace here. Texas will be the Last Stand, so it only makes sense.
Accepting The Blessings
Through tragedy and triumph, I continue to see God’s hand in all of it. My blessings are coming in many forms, most of them coming from the kindness of those who have been placed on my path.
Sometimes, for whatever reason, I have difficulty accepting the blessings. I don’t think that it is so much that I feel unworthy of them, but more so that I don’t want to burden others.
My beautiful new friend, Norwegian journalist, Rebecca Mistereggin recognized this in me almost immediately. She looked me straight in the face and said, “Accept the blessings that are yours.” In that moment, I realized that this has been a recurring theme for me and that maybe, it was time for me to do just that.
I have always said, lead with your heart and the blessings will follow. I have done this since the inception of Nurse Freedom Network, and now Remnant Nursing. I will continue to be grateful for the many blessings, most especially, the blessing of friendship.
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We continue to field a large number of requests for in-home nursing services across all 50 states, and have begun dispatching qualified members to serve the needs of our clients. As more and more people are beginning to realize that they are safer at home with a nurse receiving supportive care than they are in a hospital, we expect that these numbers will continue to grow, exponentially.
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