đWhen the Holidays Hurt: Navigating Grief in a Season of Light
Thereâs a certain magic that fills the air this time of yearâŚtwinkling lights, cinnamon on the stove, the hush of cold nights that somehow feel warm because of the memories they hold. Christmas has always been my favorite season. Itâs the time of year when the world feels softer, kinder, more connected. Itâs also the season that holds some of my most cherished moments with my daddy; car rides through neighborhoods wrapped in lights, Christmas music humming through the speakers, the quiet awe that made everything feel safe and possible.
But grief changes the holidays.
It doesnât take the meaning away, but it shifts it.
It deepens it.
It tests it.
It sanctifies it.
And this year, it feels different.
This Thanksgiving was my first holiday without my father.
And no matter how much you try to brace yourself, nothing prepares you for the silence that follows that empty chair, that quiet moment, that memory that suddenly arrives without warning and lands right in your chest.
Grief has a way of catching you off guard. It doesnât ask permission.
It simply enters the room⌠and everything shifts.
đ Grief Doesnât Take Holidays Off
When you lose people who shaped the very fabric of your life, the calendar becomes emotional landmines. The closer we inch toward Thanksgiving and Christmas, the more the ache finds its way to the surface.
Losing my husband in 2023 changed me.
Losing my daddy this past May broke me in a way Iâm still trying to understand.
And walking into this holiday season feels like stepping into holy ground; beautiful, but tender. Sacred, but raw. I still feel the joy of Christmas, truly. But now itâs a joy braided with longing.
Grief is funny like that.
It doesnât erase love.
It magnifies it.
⨠Memories That Glow
In my Dreamland blog, I talked about those magical nights when Daddy would take me to see the Christmas lightsâŚthe way the world outside the car windows sparkled, the way my little heart felt like it might burst with wonder.
Listen to an excerpt from this deeply personal episode:
What I didnât realize then was that he wasnât just showing me lights.
He was teaching me something.
He was teaching me how to find beauty in the dark.
How to pause and appreciate simple moments.
How to treasure wonder, even when life isnât perfect.
How to carry joy, not because everything is right, but because some things are sacred.
Those nights meant everything to me as a child.
They mean infinitely more to me now.
I didnât just lose my father, I lost the keeper of those memories.
But grief has also taught me this: memories donât fade when the person is gone.
Sometimes they shine even brighter.
đ Buddy the Elf and the Grinch: A Christmas Love Story of Our Own
Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year⌠the lights, the music, the magic in the air. The season wakes up the child inside me. But my husband⌠well, he was wired a little differently.
For reasons he couldnât always explain, the holidays were hard for him. The noise, the pressure, the expectationsâŚit all seemed to weigh on him in a way it never did for me. We used to joke that we were like Buddy the Elf and the Grinch living under one roof. And somehow, that strange, mismatched pairing worked.
Because even though the season wasnât easy for him, he still showed up for me.
He still drove through neighborhoods with me to look at lights.
He still let me blast Christmas music in the car.
He still went âChristmasing,â as I always called it, simply because it made me happy.
Thatâs the thing about love: it doesnât have to understand your joy to honor it.
It just shows up anyway.
And now, as the holidays return each year, I feel his absence more sharply. I miss the way heâd pretend to tolerate the Christmas festivities when I knew deep down he was doing it for me. I miss the way heâd smile at my excitement, even when he didnât share it. I miss that quiet, steady presence; the man who let me live in the magic because he loved me.
I still hang his stocking every single year. Some traditions you keep not because theyâre easy, but because the love behind them never left.
His stocking reminds me that even though he struggled during the season, he always made room for my joy.
It reminds me that grief and gratitude can inhabit the same space.
It reminds me that love doesnât go away, it just changes form.
And maybe thatâs the real miracle of Christmas.
The people weâve lost still find ways to be here with usâŚin the lights, the memories, the quiet traditions we refuse to let go of.
I miss him. I always will.
But the love we shared still glows, soft as candlelight, in the corners of every December.
đŻď¸ The Holidays Are Hard for Many
This time of year amplifies everything; love, hope, nostalgiaâŚand loss.
And for so many people, the holidays are a reminder of the empty seat at the table, the stocking that wonât be hung, the traditions that will never be the same.
If this season feels heavy for you, please hear me:
You are not alone.
Your grief is not a burden.
Your tears are not a weakness.
Your heart is allowed to feel everything it feels.
There is no ârightâ way to grieve.
There is only the way your heart knows.
Some days the memories bring warmth.
Some days they bring tears.
Both are normal.
Both are love.
đ When Love and Loss Coexist
Grief isnât the opposite of joy.
Grief is the proof that the joy was real.
And this season, Iâm trying to let myself hold both; the deep ache of missing the people Iâve lost and the quiet gratitude that I had them at all.
Iâm learning that itâs okay if Christmas looks different.
Itâs okay if some traditions fade and new ones rise in their place.
Itâs okay if joy comes in smaller doses, quieter doses.
Itâs okay if the light feels softer this year.
Some years, Christmas roars.
Some years, Christmas whispers.
But it is still Christmas.
đ Finding Peace in the Glow
When I think about Daddy this year, Iâm picturing him walking through a place more beautiful than any Christmas lights we ever saw togetherâŚcolors weâve never imagined, warmth we canât comprehend. A place where there is no pain, no fear, no regret. A place where the light never goes out.
And somehow, knowing that helps me breathe.
He gave me some of my most beautiful memories.
Now he gives me the courage to make new ones.
đ To Everyone Hurting This Season
Let this be your reminder:
You donât have to be cheerful every moment.
You donât have to pretend youâre fine.
You donât have to âmove on.â
You just have to keep going.
Light a candle.
Say their name.
Look at old photos.
Cry when you need to.
Laugh when you can.
Honor your people in whatever way feels right.
And remember, grief is simply love with nowhere to go.
đ Grief Support Through Remnant Healthcare
The holiday season has a way of stirring old memories, deep emotions, and quiet aches we sometimes keep tucked away the rest of the year. At Remnant Healthcare, we understand that grief doesnât follow a schedule, and it certainly doesnât pause for the holidays.
Thatâs why we make sure our members are never left to navigate these difficult seasons alone.
Remnant Healthcare offers:
One-on-one grief support with compassionate nurses and licensed therapists who understand loss from both a clinical and human perspective
Guided emotional-wellness check-ins, especially helpful around holidays, anniversaries, or meaningful dates
Faith-centered support, grounded in hope, Scripture, and the belief that healing comes from within and above
Caregiver relief and respite services for those who are grieving while still caring for others
Holistic recommendations to support the body during times of intense emotional stress
Connections to trusted community resources â including support groups, counseling referrals, and faith-based programs
Advocacy for families who are navigating the healthcare system while coping with loss
Our entire mission is built around walking with people through lifeâs hardest moments, and helping them find strength, clarity, and peace on the other side.
If youâre a Remnant member and this season feels heavy, please reach out.
You are not alone.
We are here to support you, hold space for your grief, and help you find the light again â in your own time, in your own way.
đ Iâm Carrying Them With Me
This year Iâll still drive around and look at the lights.
Iâll still let myself feel that childlike awe.
Iâll still whisper a thank-you to the man who gave me those memories.
Iâll carry my husband.
Iâll carry my daddy.
Iâll carry every moment that shaped me.
Because the truth is, we donât leave our loved ones behind.
We bring them with us.
We always have.
We always will.
And maybe thatâs the real magic of the season.
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About the Author:
Kimberly Overton, BSN, RN, BC-FMP, is a Registered Nurse, entrepreneur, and fierce advocate for medical freedom and informed consent. With a background in critical care and acute patient management, she bore witness to the systemic failures of a healthcare system corrupted by profit-driven protocolsâprotocols that led to medical murders disguised as care.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Kimberly made the bold decision to resign from traditional bedside nursing, standing in protest against coercive mandates, the unethical use of Remdesivir, and the rollout of dangerous, ineffective COVID âvaccines.â This defining moment propelled her to establish Nurse Freedom Network, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to empowering nurses, safeguarding patient rights, and exposing corruption within the healthcare system.
Today, she continues her mission at the bedside as a Hospice nurse, where she brings dignity, presence, and compassion to the end-of-life journeyâhonoring the sacred transition and advocating for comfort, truth, and informed decisions. Her experience in hospice care further reinforces the importance of understanding every medical intervention and upholding the nurseâs role as a protector of patient safety and peace.
Expanding on her mission, she launched Remnant Healthcare, providing holistic, patient-centered alternatives that honor medical autonomy, informed consent, and compassionate care. As host of Nurses Out Loud, Kimberly amplifies the movement for healthcare reform, medical freedom, and the unwavering defense of human dignity.
Originally from Boston, Massachusetts, and now residing in Hendersonville, Tennessee, her mission is to disrupt the broken system, hold the profiteers accountable, and reclaim healthcare on a foundation of truth, ethics, and respect for human lifeârestoring humanity to the healing profession.
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Everything you said was true. I miss my parents and my Marianne all the time, but more so during the holidays. I hope to see them again in the next life, but I cherish their memories every day. Merry Christmas, Kimberly.
Oh Kimberly,
Thank you for sharing something so personal as the deaths of your dad and husband in order to help others.
I also have lost both my parents. Thanksgiving, like the one that just past, can be difficult.
But, yes, we ARE the keepers of the memories now. And they live through us.
I find comfort in the poem "Do not stand at my grave and weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye. I think you probably know it. It begins "Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep..."